To Move or Not To Move

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Fright Night.”

Right this very moment, the thing I’m most scared to do is move. I’ve been in California since I was 8 years old. My mom and I drove cross country from New York and it was such a fun time for me because I got to spend quality time with my mother for 6 days while traveling to our new life “out west”. We took our time getting here and had the most fun. Every hotel/motel we stayed at had a pool (my mom made sure of that before we got there), we stopped at little shops along the way, and every sight-seeing spot too. It was great and when we got to California, I knew it’s where we belonged all along.

So here I am, 32 years later and I’m still in California. The only family I have out here are my two children and now I’m thinking of moving to Georgia to be closer to the rest of our super-spread-out family. But it’s a terrifying thought. I mean, it actually brings me to tears just thinking about it. I’ve settled here. I’m still living in the same house my mother bought back in 1985!! I can’t even imaging what we’d need to do just to get packing… And honestly speaking, it would not be “we”, it’d just be me. I’d be moving without my girls and the thought alone is heart-wrenching.

My girls are 20 and 17. My 20 year old just graduated from college, locally here in Beverly Hills, so she never moved away for her “college experience.” And my 17 year old will be graduating high school in June, then she’s off to college although she’s thinking of staying local as well. So essentially, I’d be leaving them behind if I moved, not the other way around which is usually what happens when kids go to college.

My girls and I are extremely close and this decision, or this thought process of trying to make a decision is too hard for me to think about in length at one particular time. It stresses me out.

In order for me to move, I’d have to update portions of my house (so as to make more money), sell it,  buy a house out there, and make myself strong enough to know in my heart of hearts, that it’s an okay thing to move on without my children in tow at this particular time in my life. I mean who knows, they could very well join me later if they wanted right? Eh…

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